Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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