he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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