i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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