just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
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