its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
