yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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