I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
