after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
