Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
My penis needs a shock collar
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
