It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize