God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
i think im in europe. pls send help
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
