omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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