Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
