Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
