Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
