ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize