the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
