Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
