he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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