i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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