the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
