I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
