Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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