Your face is a jimmy john
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
