you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
