you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
There's always time for handjobs
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
