do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize