why didn't you poke me back
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
