Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
why do cheetos always look like penises
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
