i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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