Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize