He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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