Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
