there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
