guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
