Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
