Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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