omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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