after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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