I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
