Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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