Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
don't judge my taste in strippers
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
