I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
