I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
