Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
