Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
