He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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