So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
