porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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