Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize