I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
