I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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