dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
