hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
