My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
