I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize