I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
