Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
