Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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