you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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