I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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