Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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