try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
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