i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
