It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
