dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
