Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
