We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
